Showing posts with label biblical counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biblical counseling. Show all posts

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Biblical Counseling Coalition Reviews "Redeemed from the Pit"

My book was reviewed last week by The Biblical Counseling Coalition

Redeemed from the Pit: Biblical Repentance And Restoration From The Bondage of Eating Disorders by Marie Notcheva

Redeemed from the Pit is a solid read for the biblical counselor who is looking to expand their understanding on this important topic and for anyone seeking to overcome an eating disorder or is ministering to someone who is enslaved to the lifestyle. The personal story victory and practical application of Gospel truth makes this a great resource.

In the Pit of Despair

As a biblical counselor and as a person who was once diagnosed with bulimorexia, I took on the challenge of reading Marie Notcheva’s book, Redeemed from the Pit: Biblical Repentance and Restoration from the Bondage of Eating Disorders book for both personal and professional reasons. I have had a love/hate relationship with food all my life. Like Marie, I once struggled with binging and purging and I alternated those behaviors with starvation.  
From the introduction to the end of the book, Marie makes it clear to the reader that eating disorders are not a physical disease from which a person recovers but a spiritual disease from which a person must repent. 
Marie’s personal story is weaved throughout this great book. She gives vivid details of how her early years provided the perfect mental and emotional set up for the development of her eating disorder. The culture of the late 1960’s and early 70’s that subjected women to consistent expectations of thinness and beauty fueled the fires of shame ignited by her family’s careless words about her weight and appearance. Her mother in particular (who appeared to struggle with her own food issues) was exceedingly fearful Marie would be overweight and suffer consequences to her health. She enrolled Marie in a toddler dance class to slim her down and restricted her access to sugar and starches.
At age 11, Marie began taking gymnastics. By 14, with gymnast Nadia Comaneci as her idol, she began a lifestyle of severe calorie restriction and over exercise. The highly competitive worlds of gymnastics and dance fueled her desire to become sylphlike. While she got the desired results through constant exercise and living on Slim-Fast and vegetables, the following year she determined to eat as much as she wanted, eliminating the food binge through vomiting.
In a very short amount of time, Marie’s binge/purge lifestyle was out of control. It was clear to everyone around her she needed help. Her health was in serious jeopardy. While referred to psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists, they were unable to breach the concrete protecting her heart. 

A Way Out

In her sophomore year at college, she joined Campus Crusade and put her faith in Christ. She continued her secret lifestyle while active in Cru, Bible study, and discipleship. A job abroad followed college and her slavery to bulimia remained an active part of everyday life. She also began to drink heavily as a way to medicate the constant guilt and shame she lived with.
Marriage and children did not expose or alter her bulimia, although her husband did express concern about her drinking.
Marie writes at length about the self-disgust she experienced. It caused her to question her salvation and consider herself a hypocrite. She felt hopeless and at times she feared God had rejected her. However, she had such a desire to return to Him that she continuously tried to turn away from her sin. In desperation, she met with a small group of Christian women who prayed over her. It was then that she began to find freedom from alcohol and bulimia.  
From this point forward in the book, Marie develops the inward battle of change at the heart level. She describes her battle with overcoming her eating disorder both on the physical and spiritual level and does not shrink away from describing the difficulties she faced or her failures in overcoming the desire to binge and purge. She notes, “Overcoming an eating disorder requires our constant, active commitment to inward change” (7). 

Living Free

She urges the reader to “be one who believes” in the power of the Gospel as the means to transform life from victimhood to victorious in Christ, rightly emphasizing the critical need for repentance in overcoming an eating disorder.
“Forgiven, cleansed, and given a new start, He expects you to get up off your knees and get started—walking in repentance” (6).
Marie carefully breaks down the numerous issues of the heart that a person with eating disorder behaviors must repent of to overcome this sin and live victoriously. There is an entire chapter devoted to the believers position in Christ, which is very important for a woman with an eating disorder to understand since so much of her thinking is performance oriented. Marie brings forth the truth about the role emotions play in how a person thinks about food. This is vital since those with unhealthy eating habits believe many lies about food.
Throughout the book, there are application steps that make use of charts and Scripture memorization. There is also an entire chapter on practical issues that a person with disordered eating faces. Marie highlights the refining benefits of a biblical counseling relationship and involvement in a local church. 
This book is a solid read for the biblical counselor who is looking to expand their understanding on this important topic and for anyone seeking to overcome an eating disorder or is ministering to someone who is enslaved to the lifestyle. The personal story victory and practical application of Gospel truth makes this a great resource. 
Julie Ganschow

Julie Ganschow

Julie Ganschow has been involved in biblical counseling and discipleship for over a decade. She ministers to women through Biblical Counseling for Women and writes a daily blog on counseling issues. She is a staff member at Reigning...
Read More about Julie Ganschow →

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Interview with Ashlie Kyles of Bella Ministries


Link to Bellanomics here

HAVE YOU FALLEN INTO THE PIT? HERE'S HOPE!

In September, I had the opportunity to do a Q&A with Marie Notcheva, the author of "Redeemed from the Pit: Biblical Repentance and Restoration from the Bondage of Eating Disorders". She has been studying Biblical Counseling since 2009, and is near the completion of the certification process with the NANC (National Association of Nouthetic Counselors). She counsels Christian women in person, and occasionally by e-mail, who struggle with anorexia, bulimia, and food-related bondages. Please take a moment to learn more about her ministry...

Q: What was the inspiration for starting this organization?
A: I was anorexic and bulimic for 17 years. God graciously granted me repentance and freedom. I began writing about my journey, in the hopes it would help others with similar struggles.

Q: Who can benefit from you or the use of your organization?
A: Christian women struggling with eating disorders, as well as counselors and those close to them trying to help according to biblical principles. My book goes into what the Bible says about life-dominating sin in general, as well as what God expects us to do (and how to renew our mind) as He frees us. Many people do not think of eating disordered behavior as being sinful, but God wants us to walk in freedom and holiness!

Q: What programs, products or services do you offer to the community?

A: My book, which was forewarded by bestselling author and speaker Martha Peace, can be purchased at http://www.calvarypress.com/home.asp I also blog at: http://redeemedfromthepit.blogspot.com/ I counsel (free of charge) under the authority of my local church in Massachusetts.

Q: What advice would you offer to someone interested in starting or getting involved with your type of business/organization?
A: Biblical counselors are desperately needed in this age of man-centered thinking and Godless psychology (and "Christian" programs that are based on psychological counseling constructs). Study and do the training necessary to minister the Scriptures to hurting people! If your church does not offer a biblical counseling program, suggest starting one.

Q: Where are your services offered (local, national, international)?
A: My book is available for order online. I counsel in Massachusetts, but I have received e-mails from women all over the world. I respond to each one personally and refer her to a local biblical counselor in her area (where possible).

Q: What else would you like us to know about you or your organization?
A: My testimony and an interview with me about how I overcame eating disorders in God's strength will appear on The 700 Club within a few months. Through speaking and writing, I hope to be a blessing and a light to those struggling in the pit of anorexia and bulimia. You are not alone!

Bellanomics, LLC personally thanks Marie Notcheva for taking the time out to answer a few questions. You can read here for the publisher's description of Marie's book, including the foreword written by Martha Peace: http://www.calvarypress.com/home.asp.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

"Why Do You Call Me Lord, Lord and Not Do What I Say?"

We have already established here that the Bible is the infallible, inspired Word of God - His very speech. Let's now follow that truth to some logical conclusions.

If the Scriptures are infallible, what relevance does that have to our life?

It is the final authority. Non-negotiable, and not open to debate.

When we say that God is infallible, it literally means that He is incapable of erring or making mistakes. If we accept that all of the Scriptures are His inspired (“God-breathed-out”) Word, then by extension, the Bible is also “infallible” (from the Latin word “fallere”; to deceive). The infallibility of Scripture means that since it is the very Word of God, it cannot mislead or deceive us. Some passages of Scripture that attest to its own infallibility include Psalm 19:7-14 (speaks of the law of the Lord being “perfect” and the testimony of the Lord being “sure”); Hebrews 2:1-4; 2 Peter 1:16-21; 2 Tim. 3:15 and John 17:17.

Axiomatically, if we accept the infallibility of Scripture, it follows that it is the basis for authoritative counsel. Jay Adams writes, “The ministry of the Word in counseling…is totally unlike counseling in any other system because of its authoritative base. This authoritative character stems, of course, from the doctrine of inerrancy. If the Bible were shot through with human error, and were no more dependable than any other composition – if it were not a God-breathed revelation – this note of authority would give way to opinion. But, because the Bible is inerrant, there is authority.” (Jay Adams, “More Than Redemption”, p. 18.)

Where direct commands are given in Scripture, a Christian may give authoritative counsel in the form of a command or prohibition, appealing directly to what is stated in the Bible (i.e. pre-marital sex; insubordination to an employer; etc.) However, a believer will often have to deal with questions where the Bible does not give specific instruction (but does provide general, guiding principles.) In such cases, he must assess the situation and distinguish between his or her own opinion, based on knowledge of biblical principles, and the absolute authority of Scripture. In all cases, the counsel given both as absolute imperatives (“You may not commit adultery”) and advice given on the basis of Scriptural principles (“You might want to find a sport for your son to play that does not involve games on Sunday afternoons, since Exodus 20:8 tells God’s people to keep the Sabbath day holy”) must be rooted in the Bible, rather than any system of thought which does not claim divine authority.

Finally, Jesus’ example of absolute adherence to God’s Word in the wilderness should be used as an illustration of how, because Scripture is infallible, it is the final authority for how we are to make decisions and proceed. Luke 4:1-12 demonstrates how Jesus responded to every temptation and attempt at Scripture-twisting from the devil with “It is written…” His response and behavior, even at great personal cost, models the attitude we are to imitate when faced with temptation: what is “written?” Why does that matter? A biblical command or prohibition is metaphorically “written in stone” (is non-negotiable) because all Scripture proceeds from the mouth of God. As such, it is perfect (infallible) and is therefore the ultimate authority for issues both of orthodoxy and orthopraxy.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Just When You Thought it Couldn't Get Any Weirder...

Some things need no comment.

I want to share with you all an "Event Invite" I just received from a women's ministry group on Facebook:

I wanted to make sure you knew about a very important upcoming training for those called to emotional and physical healing and deliverance to the Body of Christ. There is a Convergence Spiritual Cleansing Method(TM) Ministers' Training on July 8th - 10th both nationally via live stream video and locally in Raleigh, NC.

The 4 Essential steps to true deliverance will be taught in detail. It will be great for ministry leaders to attend. It will elevate your entire ministry! You can see the four steps on a brief teaching video and get full info at http://www.erickajackson.com/CSCM.htm.

Ooohhh....the "Spiritual Cleansing Method (TM)". Sounds like something no biblical counselor worth her salt should be without, right? Right. Yeah, that's exactly what I said to myself. Then I clicked on the link.




















Look at all that's promised - and what's more, PAYMENT PLANS ARE AVAILABLE TO WATCH THE VIDEO STREAM!!! Praise the Lord and Pass the Plate:


A special training for those men and women called to emotional and/or physical healing and deliverance for the Body of Christ.

Friday, July 8th - Sunday, July 10th, 2011
Marriott Courtyard North Raleigh/Triangle Town Center
Raleigh, NC


$397* - Live Training
$300 now through June 20th
You receive $97 off of your live registration before June 30th!

$197* - Live Video Stream
$140 now through June 20th
You receive $57 off of your video stream registration before June 30th!

*Payment Plans are available - see below.
Registration discounts do not apply to payment plans.

Jesus is raising up a new crop of ministers who truly believe and flow in His works upon the earth. Those who are willing to take off the masks of tradition and stand against the works of this world so the true believers of the Lord can usher the presence of the Kingdom of Heaven upon the earth to become the Kingdom of God.

The Lord is looking for those called to Truth and whose hands He can use to be His body and cast darkness away from his beloved children. He is equipping and training up those who are heeding His call to be vessels so others may know the liberty and freedom they can receive through the power, dominion and authority of Jesus.

Are you one of them?

Then, this training is just for YOU!

Three years ago the Lord revealed the process to fully being a vessel for a complete four-step process to fully deliver and heal His people to Ericka. He instructed her to put together trainings for those called to take the work into the Body of Christ. This is the first comprehensive training in which Ericka fully reveals the entire method the Holy Spirit laid out to her.

Do you have a heart for those in need of inner and physical healing?
Are you tired of seeing Christians live so far beneath all they are promised in the Word?
Do you long for the knowledge, wisdom and understanding to go along with your gifts of discernment and healing?
Then, this training is just for YOU!

If you have wondered why the people of God do not seem to be accessing and living the promises of scripture and are ready to learn why...

If you are ready to experience God in a whole new dimension…

If you are ready to be a vessel to guide others to truly be free from all emotional pain…

If you are ready to be a powerful vessel for physical healing in others…

If you are ready to finally access the full reward of overcoming...

Then you are ready for The Convergence Spiritual Cleansing MethodTM.


Who should attend?

Apostles, Pastors, Evangelists, Christian Leaders, Ministry Founders, Ministry Leaders, Teachers of the gospel, those with the gift of healing, those ready to better understand and appropriate the authority of Jesus upon the earth.
Based on the ground-breaking work of Ericka D. Jackson’s book, Beyond Fearless: How to Remove Every Hindrance From Your Life , this 100 % scriptural work guides you and all you work with into position to inherit the Kingdom of God. This work was breathed forth from the Holy Spirit through Ericka and she is bringing it to you at this training.


You will leave this training with:

A clear 4-step tested, proven and fail-proof process to walking people through full deliverance.

Standing in your authority over all sickness and able to cast out infirmities in yourself and others.

Being a pure vessel for the Lord to guide others into the freedom of the Lord.

Full knowledge of how to operate in your heavenly position upon the earth.

The clear step-by-step process of purifying the hearts of the people of God..

Understanding of how to recognize and demolish all 14 stronghold spirits and the thousands of unclean fruit they produce in Christians' lives.

Operating in the full power in the name of Jesus to cast out the unclean in others.

Activate the full ability to heal yourself and others that is contained within you.

Full understanding in how to walk into the fullness of your calling.

Be clear of all works of the flesh that have inhibited your ability to inherit the Kingdom of God and walk others through the same process.

Understanding and appropriating the 7 Spirits of God and how to catalyze their clean fruits to manifest and grow in your life and the lives of those the Lord sends to you to be a vessel for their wholeness.

The Lord told me that there were many of His flock that needed to take this training and that I needed to provide a way for everyone who desires to participate to receive the training. He instructed me to live video stream the training so there are no geographic barriers to being able to get the valuable information that you need to move forward in your calling as a healer and vessel for deliverance.

This will give you a choice as to what works best for your lifestyle. There are two ways that you can participate in this ground-breaking training.

You can either attend the event live in Raleigh, NC. If you attend the event live, it includes on-demand access to the live event recording through July 31st, 2011.


- or -

You can save the additional travel and lodging expenses and join us via live videostream. This means that you can join us from the privacy of your own home for the weekend or as much as you can attend during the actual event. Or you can access the event on-demand for the rest of the month of July. (I KNOW...this is exciting!!!)


LIVE EVENT PAYMENT PLANS

If you would like to travel into Raleigh, NC or live in the Raleigh, NC area, this option is ideal.

Your live event registration includes all training materials, breakfast and lunch on Saturday and refreshments throughout the conference, and access to the on-demand recording through July 31st, 2011.

To Pay in Full - $397
You recieve $97 off of your live registration before June 30th!
(your discount will instantly appear as you check out)

Click Here to Submit Your Payment in Full

- or -

Live Event 2-Payment Plan

2 Payments of $198.50 due by June 5th and July 5th

Click Here for the Live Event 2-Payment Plan

LIVE VIDEO STREAM PAYMENT PLANS

If you live outside of the Raleigh, NC area and would like to be a part of the training, this option is perfect for you.

Your live video streaming event registration includes all training materials and access to the on demand recording through July 31st, 2011.

Single Payment of $197

You recieve $57 off of your video stream registration before June 30th!

Click Here to Submit Your Live Video Stream Payment in Full

(your discount will instantly appear as you check out)

- or -

2-Payment Plan

2 Payments of $98.50 due on June 5th and July 5th

Click Here for the LiveStream 2-Payment Plan


Brilliant! So, after more than 2,000 years of Church history, the Holy Spirit has just now seen fit to reveal God's Plan for Healing (TM) to Ericka! And she can teach it to others for the low, low price of $400! (Only $200 to watch via "live video stream"!)

Notice NO mention whatsoever of the Bible's clear teaching on sanctification; "putting off" the old nature and "putting on" holiness and a life pleasing to God. Notice no exposition of a SINGLE biblical text or ANY of the numerous passages that deal with counseling, ecclesiology, or the little fact that PRIVATE REVELATION CEASED WITH THE CLOSING OF THE CANON.

Perhaps most galling is this little sidebar on the page:

"You will become a fully certified Convergence Spiritual Cleansing MethodTM Minister as a result of attending this training and completing the final certification exam that will be available online following the training.

Once you are certified, you will be able to:

  • Have ongoing support as you minister this process to others.
  • Create an additional revenue stream for your ministry. *
  • Be a part of a network and team of trained ministers that Ericka can send out to train church and ministry leaders at retreats and conferences.
  • Have access to ongoing training and breakthroughs in The Convergence Spiritual Cleansing MethodTM.
* Real biblical counseling is NOT designed to create a "revenue stream". That is a serious ethical and moral violation right there.

Wowzers; a certification exam! Almost like real biblical counseling associations offer, huh?! Gee, I wonder how many years of exegetical study a prospective minister of the "Convergence Spiritual Cleansing Method" would need? Goodness, a seminary degree would seem like a minimal requirement for such an exclusive, only-given-to-one-person, God-breathed "cleansing" method! And then, when they HAVE their certificates, these sheeple can "play counselor" just like those of us who have actually studied and trained to minister the Word of God to counselees.

Perhaps because I do not have cable TV (and therefore cannot watch the heretical Word of Faith charlatans bilking money from naive people night and day) this sort of scam still annoys me - big time. These false prophets and greedy, lying charlatans who evidently find extra-biblical, sensationalistic speaking more attractive than opening their Bibles are a blight to the Name of Christ. May He break their deception and offer them repentance before it's too late. (Isaiah 44:25; Jeremiah 14:14, 23:16, 50:36; Ezekiel 13:9, 22:28; Matt. 7:15, 24:11,24; Mark 13:22; 2 Peter 2:1; 1 John 4:1).

Saturday, May 14, 2011

For the Last Time, Jay Adams is NOT a 'Behaviorist'!

















Since beginning my formal course of training in biblical counseling about a year and a half ago, I have come to understand much better the process of what counselors call "total restructuring", the practice of "putting off" sinful behavior and thought processes (Eph. 4:22), and being enabled by the Holy Spirit to "put on" the new self - thoughts and practices which are pleasing to God (Eph. 4:24). It should go without saying that walking in obedience is not a one-time event as salvation is, but the way of life Christ expects and demands from His followers. (John Piper wrote an excellent book, "What Jesus Demands from the World", exegeting each one of His imperatives to believers.) Of course, there are those who would distinguish between what they term a "Pauline Christianity" and the Gospel, but this is a false dichotomy. Paul consistently preached Christ crucified (1 Cor. 2:2).

Jay Adams, the founder of the modern biblical counseling movement, does the same thing.

During my course of study with INS, the subject of so-called "Keswick sanctification" was covered and Dr. Adams explained what was wrong with it (he also terms it "quietism"). This philosophy is similar to the "let go and let God" bumper-sticker mentality that if we are simply "empty vessels" fully "yielded" to God, the Holy Spirit will achieve progressive sanctification on our behalf. In this pseudo-pietist formula, it is NOT considered spiritual, or even correct, to strive for our own holiness and sanctification. We are to remain completely passive. This erroneous view of Scripture struck a chord with me, as I had been exposed to it years earlier in a charismatic church. In fact, when reviewing my book manuscript, Martha Peace urged me to remove the words "yield" and "surrender" from the chapters on repentance - NOT because the terms don't occur in the Bible (they do;) but because of how they have become mis-used in the modern Church to promote a passive, almost mystical view of sanctification.

I have spent hours on the phone with Martha, scrutinizing the precision of my terminology when discussing heart change and love of God, the believer's responsibility to repent, and how to walk in obedience. I have spent many MORE hours viewing lectures of Dr. Adams and studying the requisite texts for a certificate in nouthetic counseling (from noutheteo,translated "admonish, correct or instruct;" see Romans 15:14). If I have learned nothing else from Dr. Adams, it is that we are to (and help our counselees learn to) honor and glorify God, whether we feel like it or not. Our motivation is NOT to please ourselves, but to please God. This is the only appropriate response to the One Who first condescended to love us sinners, and gave Himself up for us (Gal. 2:20).

True, inner heart change (conversion) is a work of God. We can do nothing to save ourselves (Eph. 3:23); it is entirely His doing - hence the term "monergism". However, the Bible is clear from Genesis to Revelation that God expects His people to obey Him. This is a synergistic effort (the Holy Spirit enables blood-bought disciples, and we are to "will and to work for His good pleasure"; Phil. 2:13). Justification (being declared righteous before God because of faith in His Son) will always result in increasing holiness and sanctification. Unfortunately, even within the biblical counseling movement, there is a school of thought which considers sanctification entirely a work of God (as if the believer need not practice discipline or "work" towards taking his or her own thoughts captive; put on self-control; etc.)

It is from this misunderstanding of the Scriptural teaching on sanctification that Dr. Adams has wrongly been called a "behaviorist". The term may more accurately be applied to secular psychiatrists who follow the Skinner theories of behavior modification - known more simply as "conditioning". Nowhere, in any of his more than 50 books, has Adams ever promoted the view that by changing one's outward behavior, one becomes acceptable to God. Nor is it accurate to say that a more disciplined lifestyle results in true holiness. In fact, Adams cautions against counseling non-Christians for this very reason: an unregenerate person may only move from one lifestyle that is displeasing to God to another, equally displeasing lifestyle (Heb. 11:6).

Part of the tendency on the part of his critics to misrepresent Adams' teaching comes, I believe, from taking citations out of context. Jay Adams is a man who has been teaching, preaching and writing for quite a few decades on more subjects than I could mention in a blog post. Three of the required texts for students of biblical counseling are "Competent to Counsel", "The Christian Counselor's Manual", and "More than Redemption" (the last one is a systematic theology text). These three books are around 400 pages EACH. In addition to these, there are many of his shorter, "summary" type books on specific subjects (forgiveness; hermaneutics; divorce and re-marriage) we are to read. It is both inaccurate and unfair to take (for example) a paragraph on what specific behaviors a counselee might take to overcome lust from page 402 of one of his books and treat it as if it were the only and final word Adams has written on the subject. By the time the reader arrives at Chapter 35 of CCM, Adams presumably takes it for granted the reader has read the first 34 chapters, AND perhaps CTC (which is a precursor to CCM). It should not be necessary for him to re-lay the groundwork of God's great love, conviction, confession of sin, heart-felt repentance and what may be going on in the counselee's heart that causes him to rebel against God each time he gives a counseling scenario.

Yesterday, in an entry by Dr. Adams called "Gospel Sanctification" on the Institutes's blog, a conversation ensued in which the usual arguments about "behaviorism" were dragged out. I had been planning to write about this issue anyway, since learning that some in the biblical counseling movement have been leaning towards a passive, "resting and feeding" faith* while omitting our responsibility to be co-laborers in our own spiritual growth. One nay-sayer wrote:


"Marie, from what I have read of Dr. Adams, he is a behaviorist/moralist. He teaches that changing the behavior is the way to change the heart. At least that’s what I read on the pages of Competent to Counsel. I was so shocked at what I read that I withdrew my application to a seminary that uses Dr Adams as its text. Check it for yourself."
Of course, I HAVE read CTC for myself, as well as the books mentioned above and a great many more. What this straw-man argument fails to acknowledge is that Adams himself has written specifically and succinctly on the subject of progressive sanctification in a small, highly readable book, "Growing by Grace". At less than 100 pages, (I read it at McDonalds' PlayPlace last summer), it is a useful overview of what the Christian life should look like for anyone desiring to follow God. He discusses the New Birth and why it is necessary for any true, inner change; then goes on to describe how God enables His children to live lives "worthy of the calling" they have received (Eph. 4:1). This is a basic, fundamental calling of every believer throughout his/her entire life; it is not limited to those in the counseling room. Adams writes,

"When counselors help counselees to develop new biblical habits to replace old ones, for instance, they encourage them to ask God to change not only externals but also to change their hearts. Peter speaks of "hearts trained in greed" (II Peter 2:14). The heart is where the habit is.....The heart must be changed as the habit is; the habit will be changed as the heart is. The one cannot be divorced from the other. Holiness is first and foremost an inside job! To encourage counselees merely to change their outer behavior is to create hypocritical counselees and to make God out to be nothing more than a decorative God who superficially paints over the rotten wood beneath! The biblical counselor must stress prayer, the work of the Spirit, and the Word in enabling him to obey. God is an Interior Decorator."
Big, fat 'Amen'! The insight that working on changing the behavior right alongside the heart is one that rings especially true for former addicts. More than once, I have received the question from young women with eating disorders, "When will God change my heart? Did you stop [bulimic behavior] after God changed your heart, or did it all happen at the same time?"

Teaching that deep reflection on the Cross and meditating on the sufferings of Christ is all that is needed to 'change our hearts' confuses and frustrates people stuck in life-dominating sin. YES, it is necessary. It is, after all, God's kindness which leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Without being broken over one's sin and staying in fellowship with the compassionate, gracious Savior Who loves us, no real change can occur in our hearts - nor, consequently, in our behavior. BUT, and this is the key difference, "preaching the Gospel to ourselves" doesn't stop with recognizing Christ's great love and our redemption. It continues - by recalling His command to "follow Me" (die to self-centered desires) and "go and sin no more".

A simple, common-sense application of this heart+disciplined action = change is as follows: I used to smoke cigarettes. Somewhere around 2002, as God was pricking my conscience over several long-standing sins, I began to feel convicted that God wanted me to stop smoking. I realized that when under stress or angry, I would "stuff" my angry thoughts and feelings by using this habit; that it was unhealthy and therefore in violation of 1 Cor. 6:19; and that since cigarettes had now hit $5.00/pack in Massachusetts, it was poor stewardship. I decided to quit.

I prayed about it. I "shared my feelings" with the Lord. I re-affirmed His love for me from the pages of Scripture. I recognized that Christ had died on the Cross for me. But you know what else? I stopped going to the mini-market for Marlboros. I quit hanging around the designated smoke area out back at work, with my homegirls from the temp agency. I threw away my ashtray and lighter, and then....most significantly of all, I told my husband I wasn't going to smoke anymore. Ah...the accountability factor. Once you tell your husband or wife, it's written in stone.

I never lit another cigarette again.

Now, smoking may be a fairly benign example of this principle, but anyone can see how making changes in one's habitual behavior concurrently with the heart change God brings about will lead to victory over a particular sin (or bad habit). So, is this 'behaviorism'? Let's let Dr. Adams himself answer that charge:

"Not if what he does is done out of love for God! One must have the inner desire to please God when out of duty he obeys a commandment that is not pleasant to obey. A housewife cleans the toilets not because she enjoys the chore but because she loves her family. A counselee may be called on to obey a command out of love for God and his neighbor, even when he does not look forward to the task itself. That is what must be stressed. The counselee must understand that in his inner person, he must not do anything God commands for brownie points; he must obey out of love."
(Emphasis mine)

I truly hope that these illustrations and Dr. Adams' own words help any would-be critics understand progressive sanctification. This critically-important doctrine is one which biblical counselors strive to present from the pages of Scripture; not from feel-good, needs-based psychology. Insisting on obedience (as Christ Himself did repeatedly) by means of the Spirit is neither legalism nor 'behaviorism'. As one grows in his/her relationship with Christ, he/she naturally becomes increasingly conformed to His likeness (Romans 8:29). This is true "Gospel Sanctification", and is what Dr. Adams has preached from day one.

* See "The Journal of Modern Ministry", Vol. 8, Issue I.
Excerpts taken from "Growing by Grace", Dr. Jay Adams, published by Timeless Texts, 2003. Pgs. 92-93,

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

David Powlinson on "Life Beyond Your Parents' Mistakes"

David Powlinson is a well-known CCEF counselor, writer and speaker at biblical counseling conferences. Also a member of the Board of NANC, he has produced many books, presentations and mini-books on a variety of practical topics. Along with Ed Welch's writing, I find Powlinson's material to be extremely helpful...not just as a biblical counselor in training, but for my own personal edification.

This week, CCEF's publishing arm, New Growth Press, made a free download available of Powlinson's "Life Beyond Your Parents' Mistakes: The Transforming Power of God's Love". In the 32-page booklet, Powlinson deconstructs the Freudian myth that human beings cannot experience God as Father without having had a loving, nurturing father figure. It is just such reasoning that has led to unhealthy dependency on the counselor, which often accompanies psychology-based therapy. This view also promotes the myth that "re-parenting or corrective emotional experience" is needed in order to know God as He is. It also begs the questions Powlinson raises:
"Are there any people with bad parents who have a great relationship with God? Are there any people with good parents who have a rotten view of God?"
Powlinson uses Scripture to counter this man-centric reasoning, which distorts the nature of the human heart and the reasons why people believe lies about God. Seeing God through the lens of an abusive, remote, or disinterested parent denies the power and truth of how God actually works through His Word and Spirit. Axiomatically, insisting that one must first experience a corrective human relationship to believe the reality of God's fatherly love is essentially to turn Almighty God into an almighty psychotherapist.

It is a sad fact that those of us who had abusive parents (especially of the "religious" variety) often project those images onto the true God. There is a hurt and a betrayal that doesn't just go away the moment we became Christians, and Powlinson acknowledges this. However, having sinful (or even evil) parents, of course, does not mean God is that way, so why do we often twist our view of God? Powlinson doesn't let us off so easily - and his clear, compassionate but uncompromisingly biblical angle makes us sit up and listen.

Other titles by which God identifies Himself include King, Shepherd, Master, and Savior. If human equivalents of these descriptions are corrupt, does that influence the way we see God? Not usually. Powlinson writes:
"Clearly, our fallen experience need not control us. Yet for many, the truth that "God is Father" seems to be the exception. They do feel that their knowledge of God the Father is controlled by the earthly parallel. So we turn to the second question: Must your own father dictate the meaning of that phrase until a substitute human father puts a new spin on it?"
This backwards, create-your-own-god philosophy comes from Freud and Erikson, not the Bible, and caters to our sinful tendency to find excuses and reasons for unbelief. Whether we want to admit it or not, we are prone to look for excuses and blame outside ourselves for our false beliefs and sinful behavior. (Case in point: try convincing a bulimic, even a Christian one, that bulimia is not a 'genetic disease'. Now insert a mental image of me tearing my very long hair out. Okay, illustrative rant over -- back to correcting our view of God.) 

As with any false belief or assumption, this view of God as remote, severe or capricious must be countered with Scripture itself - the living and active Sword of the Spirit, and the only way God has chosen to reveal Himself to us. Powlinson points out that we change when we see what God tells us about Himself, as portrayed in Isaiah 49:13-16 (a nurturing Comforter); Psalm 103:10-13 (compassionate Father); and 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12 (gentle, encouraging and comforting Father). Ultimately, the sacrificial love of Christ in coming to die for rebellious children displays the pinnacle of what God's fatherly love is - an historical fact from which counselees often feel disconnected.

Of course, these are only a very small sample of all the Scriptures revealing God as the perfect Father; one of the specific steps Powlinson recommends the reader take is to go through the Bible, finding specific truths that contend with the lies and cravings he identifies in his thinking about God. "There ought to be a battle going on within you daily as God's light and love battle your darkness," he advises.

This booklet is extremely helpful not only in defining the problem, but also in countering it on biblical terms and pointing the reader back towards the only source of truth and help - the Word of God - for the solution. Additionally, in true biblical counselor form, Powlinson leaves the reader with nine well-thought-out, probing questions to work through in order to identify and change warped thinking about God, due to parental abuse or poor relationship. I plan to tackle them myself, and expect it will take me at least three months to fully explore and resolve them. God desires His children to know Him as He is, not to view Him through the warped lens of fallen humanity! This little book is a helpful, convicting resource to help Christians struggling with a "dysfunctional" past not to use that as an excuse to keep God at arm's length. I highly recommend it for counselors and counselees alike.

(To download the free book, go to New Growth Press's Facebook fan page.)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

God Has No "Foster Children"











Last month I read a book called “Three Little Words”, a memoir of a girl’s horrific childhood in the foster care system. Eventually she was adopted, as a teen, by a loving family. (This wasn’t something I read for pleasure – it was on my daughter’s public school summer reading list, and I was screening it.) While the material was inappropriate for 13-year-olds, it was a painfully raw and all-too-accurate glimpse of what some foster children experience.

Being shuffled through countless homes of indifferent or abusive “foster parents” obviously scars children. They come to see themselves as unloved, and presumably unlovable. Even the fortunate ones, who are adopted, face problems – they cannot trust adults, believe that they are loved, or understand what a permanent place in a family means. Many adoptions are actually disrupted when youngsters lash out and display belligerent behavior. Growing up in foster care means existing in constant limbo. Natural parents who don’t come through and foster parents who aren’t “for keeps” breed a deep-seated insecurity. Foster children often expect to be rejected – even after adoption.

Ashley Rhodes-Courter, the author of this particular memoir, describes an incident of teenage rebellion some time after her adoption had been finalized. When confronted by her parents, her first thought was that the adoption was over. She had long since steeled her heart against loving or being loved by anyone, and spent the first several years of her family life waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. She anticipated another rejection and ultimate return to the group home. Against her expectations and previous life experience, her parents assured her that she was irrevocably their daughter, and that it was high time to drop the “poor orphan” act. (They then punished her for her infraction).

That was the turning point for Ashley. Finally, she was able to begin building trust in her mother and father, knowing that no matter how “bad” she was, there was nothing she could do to make them reject her.

An awful lot of Christians are walking around with a “foster child” mentality, it seems to me. This is a mindset I’ve encountered in counseling, and it’s something I have fallen prey to myself at times. What we need to internalize is this: we are adopted sons and daughters of God, co-heirs with Christ, and have a permanent place in the family (Galatians 4:5; Ephesians 1:5; and John 8:35 respectively). Why is this so hard to believe? My answer, and it’s a fairly simplistic one, is because it takes humility to see this.

We did nothing to “earn” our status as His children; it was all of His grace…completely, freely, and lavishly bestowed on the unlovely delinquents we were when He found us. Pride wants to “earn our keep”; to do something that will merit God’s approval. This is the carnal nature that prompted the Prodigal Son's request to be made a hired servant. Humility, on the other hand, rejoices in the fact that we are fully known, completely loved, and sealed with the spirit of adoption (Romans 8:15). We can cry “Abba, Father” no matter how distant we may feel from God, because He has set His love on us for Christ’s sake (Romans 1:5) and called us His own (Isaiah 43:1; 1 John 3:2). In fact, He loves us even as He loves His only begotten Son, Jesus (John 16:27).

By human standards, this is a difficult concept to grasp. Repeated rejection by human authority figures (and especially by parents) can pervert one’s view of a benevolent God. Nevertheless, the One Who has redeemed our unworthy selves loves us unconditionally, and has made our identity secure. Legal adoption is a binding covenant. John 1:12-13 illustrates this clearly:

"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God."
We have assurance that God really is as good as He says He is. He will never reject any who come to Him (John 6:37).
"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, " Abba! Father!" (Romans 8:15).
Foster children are literally slaves to fear. They live in constant anticipation of the next infraction – or whim of the legal system – to be the end of whatever tenuous family situation they are in. How does this sad mindset play itself out in a child of God?

Shame.

Guilt over failure and indwelling sin drives the insecure Christian away from the Cross, rather than towards it. He or she cannot face a God Whom is still perceived as a righteous Judge, rather than a loving Father. God is both, of course; but what the fearful believer fails to grasp practically is that His righteous judgment has already been poured out on Christ, and there is no longer condemnation (Romans 8:1). She fails to realize that her sin was already foreseen by God, has been forgiven, and He is no longer holding it against her. As Jerry Bridges writes,

“…He is, as it were, coming alongside me saying, “We are going to work on that sin, but meanwhile I want you to know that I no longer count it against you.” God is no longer my Judge; He is now my Heavenly Father, who loves me with a self-generated, infinite love, even in the face of my sin.”
Pride.

While on the surface shame and pride may seem at odds with each other, actually they work in tandem. When a Christian sees herself as a “foster child” of God, she will seek to avoid Him when plagued with guilt – at least until she can “get her act together” enough to approach Him. However, it is actually the height of arrogance to believe that there is ever a time when we are more acceptable to God than another. Putting merit in our own works-righteousness or penance actually demeans the centrality of the Cross. C. J. Mahaney writes,

“Paul called himself “the worst of sinners” (1 Timothy 1:16). He wasn’t paralyzed by condemnation. He was exalting God’s grace by recognizing his own unworthiness and sin as he marveled at the mercy of God.”
Fear of Man and People-Pleasing.

A child of God who does not realize his true identity is constantly anxious about where he stands with God. Desperately trying to earn the favor of his Father, which he doesn’t realize he already has, he tries to impress others or appear more spiritual. (I had one bulimic counselee tell me she wanted to “redeem [herself] in God’s eyes by becoming a nutritionist, and hopefully help others”.)
I confess that I have fallen prey to this mindset myself, when I make idols out of goals or “splendid vices” (George Whitefield’s term for spiritual activity done with wrong motives). Getting my book “Redeemed from the Pit” published is very important to me, and now that it is becoming a reality I have been preoccupied with obtaining endorsements from well-known authors in the biblical counseling field. When they like my work, I somehow feel God approves of my endeavor. When they decline or suggest revisions, I despair – their opinion of my writing overshadows pleasing God. It becomes too easy to forget that my work is ultimately all for His glory, anyway. Although I would never say so out loud, being thought well of by “celebrity Christians” can eclipse the truth – that God neither thinks more nor less of me based on man’s opinions; and I have nothing whatsoever to commend my self to Him in the first place. He loves me with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3) simply because I am His daughter.

This tendency to think God sees us as others do takes many different forms, but the root is the same – doubting the reality and immutability of God’s personal and tender love.

The Solution

Let’s think about this logically: an omniscient God knew from eternity past exactly what you would be like; He saw every sin and dark thought that would enter your mind. Yet He set His love on you anyway by electing you as His child. He called you out of darkness; then transferred you to the Kingdom of His beloved Son (Colossians 1:13). Jesus Himself is not ashamed to call you His brother or sister (Hebrews 2:11), so on what grounds would He decide to kick you out of His family? What, exactly, would you have to do to “disrupt” your heavenly adoption, and get sent back from whence you came?

It’s time, as the Courter parents so bluntly put it, to “drop the poor orphan act” and realize we’re God’s for good. And that’s Good News. Intimacy cannot grow apart from relationship, and the entire New Covenant proclaims that our relationship as children is irrevocable. We didn’t do anything to earn it in the first place – we were all broken and flawed when God called us – so what makes us think we can “lose” His parental bond? Fellowship may be broken, just as in human families – but God promises to forgive and restore each and every time we humble ourselves to seek Him (1 John 1:9). Craven fear and cringing supplication have no place in the life of a child of God. Repentance is a gift freely offered to all who will accept it and return to God on His terms...no running, hiding, and fear of the boon lowering any more. The writer of Hebrews poetically banished any possibility of seeing ourselves as “foster children” when he wrote:
“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

Monday, August 2, 2010

Article Published in The Gabriel























One of my articles (originally appeared last spring on my other blog) was just published in The Gabriel, the quarterly magazine produced by Christians in Recovery. My piece, entitled "Lessons in Faith: Life After Bulimia" runs on pp. 14-16 of the publication (it takes a minute to download).

Be forewarned...I do not agree with everything printed in the magazine. CIR is admittedly an integrationist organization, which, although Christian, endorses 12-Step groups and other forms of psychology-based treatment for addictions (aka life-dominating sins). Differences aside, writing for them seems like a great way to share the truth that is in Christ, and encourage Christians who struggle with substance abuse. The editors seem to really like my stuff, and have asked me to be a regular, contributing writer...so it's all good. (They have already published several of my articles on their regular website).

I noticed that they have a link to Mark Shaw's book, "The Heart of Addiction" (Focus Publishing) there as well. Funny; he is currently reading my book for endorsement! Small world.


Monday, July 26, 2010

A God Who is Not Sovereign is Not God

This afternoon on the way home from work, I caught part of a radio program in which Rabbi Harold Kushner (“When Bad Things Happen to Good People”) was being interviewed. Kushner was weighing in on a tragedy that befell a family here in Massachusetts last week: twin two-year-old girls drowned in their swimming pool, presumably while their mother was inside with a 9-month-old baby brother. It is difficult to imagine the enormity of the family’s loss, and our hearts break with them. This is every parent’s worst nightmare come true.

Kushner, who lost his son to progeria in the 1980’s, made several good points. He observed that grieving parents are incapable of consoling one another as they would had the loss been a parent or sibling, and often lash out. He advised the parents to seek counsel from others, and mentioned several bereavement support groups. He noted that the death of a child is something one never really “gets over”, but they may expect to get to a point where they can enjoy life again. He also very wisely cautioned others against offering advice; seeking to minimize the tragedy; or rationalize it away (“Talk less; hug more”.) Seeking solace from those parents who can truly empathize in their grief will also lead to their ultimately being able to offer that same compassion to others. This, in turn, will counter, in some small measure, the devastating helplessness that they felt when their daughters drowned.

Is God Sovereign?

However, when the interviewer turned the line of questioning to “Can we blame God?”, Kushner essentially denied the concept of a sovereign God. (Obviously, as a Jewish rabbi, Kushner’s view of God and redemptive history differ significantly from the Christian position to begin with. We needn’t get into soteriology or dwell on self-evident doctrinal differences between Jews and Christians). In fact, what I found interesting was Kushner’s low view of God’s omnipotence and omniscience; and his de facto denial of man’s depravity and the effect of sin’s outworking in the world (hamartiology).

Kushner stated that just as God cannot be “blamed” for tragedy, (which is true, of course; calamity is a result of the fall of man), neither can one say that tragic events are “His will”, orchestrated by Him, or permitted by Him. That is a disappointingly humanistic worldview, and would be natural coming from a secular psychologist, a Deist, an agnostic, or perhaps Oprah. But follow it to its natural conclusion: if God did not have foreknowledge of a tragedy, then He is not omniscient. This is “open theism”, and it is heresy. (See Job 37:16; 1 Jn 3:20; Heb 4:13; Mt 10:29-30). Further, Kushner maintains that when people credit or praise God for good events, blessings in their life, or sparing them from disaster, they are actually just putting a “theological face” on their relief at not being the unfortunate victims.

The idea of an omnipotent God is also distasteful to Kushner. He passionately said, “Given a choice between a deity that is all-good but cannot control what will happen, and an omnipotent creator who allows the death of innocent children, I find the compassionate god much more comforting! Where do we get the idea that power is the highest virtue?” (I was driving at the time and thus did not take down the precise quotes, but that was pretty close).

What disheartens me is that Kushner, who certainly embodies the godly qualities of compassion, empathy, and love for his fellow man – especially the hurting – does not seem to realize that these attributes of God IN NO WAY negate His power, omniscience, or sovereignty. If God is not sovereign, He is not God. Kushner seems to be setting up a false dichotomy: if God is sovereign, He allowed those poor children to drown. That would be, in his mind, evil. Therefore, God would not be all-good. If God is all-good, He would not have allowed small children to climb into the swimming pool and drown. If He is good, and had foreknowledge of the incident, He should have done something. He did nothing. Therefore, He is not all-knowing.

The truth of the matter, of course, is that God is both all-good, and in His sovereignty, knew what would happen to the girls. He did not intervene (for reasons we cannot understand, and should not try to speculate upon); and tragically, they died. An additional truth here, which should not be glossed over too lightly, is that His heart is as broken as those of the parents’. God is close to the brokenhearted and is moved to compassion by our grief. (See Psalm 34:18; Psalm 147:3; John 11:35; Hebrews 4:15). By contrast, Kushner seems to imply that by allowing what is such a horrific tragedy that the human mind recoils, God is callous or indifferent to human suffering. It is arbitrary; unfair.

Are People Really Good?

Why does the notion of God allowing terrible events seem so repugnant to Rabbi Kushner? A word he kept using was “innocent”. ‘What kind of God would allow two innocent girls to drown?’ I would counter, 'the same kind of God Who let His innocent Son suffer and die on a Roman cross for my sins'. While I agree with Kushner that no family deserves what these folks are going through, if we really get down to the nitty-gritty, there’s a flaw in his argument for ‘innocence’ (not just of the girls; but of all victims of tragedy): none of us is truly innocent. Only Christ was, and God not only allowed Him to suffer; He ordained it (Isaiah 53:10-11). Does the atonement mean God is unjust; uncompassionate; indifferent?

Even without getting into a debate about Penal Substitution, we can see from the Torah, Law and Prophets alone that we are all, from birth, guilty sinners who inherently deserve nothing but eternal separation from God. We are, in fact, guilty through Adam’s representative act (federal headship), and are born corrupt and therefore oriented toward sin. This is NOT to say, of course, that individual sin is the reason for calamity (the Lord Jesus emphatically dispelled that notion in Luke 13:4); but that when sin entered the world, part of the consequence was misfortune and tragic circumstances. Ultimately, this is the reason for earthquakes and other natural disasters; bloodshed; famine; genetic mutations; childhood illnesses; and the ultimate curse: death (both physical and spiritual). See Genesis 3:14 ff.


Kushner, as the name of his book implies, seems to see human beings as basically good. This is part of the problem with his view of God: he does not see man’s true position in relation to Him. Because he hold a flawed, high view of man, of necessity his view of God’s sovereign will is skewed. While God is completely holy and completely loving, we humans strike out on both counts. Throughout the entire Scripture, the inherently evil condition of man is set out over against the impeccable nature of God. As I have explained before, the term “total depravity” doesn’t mean we are as bad as we can possibly be; it means that there is no part of our being that has not been tainted by the effects of sin. The following are just a small sampling of some of the verses pointing to man’s natural condition: Ecc. 7:29; Rom. 5:7-8; 5:12,19; Psalm 143:2; 2 Chr. 6:26; Isaiah 53:6; Micah 7:2-4. He also stated that expressing anger at God is fine; and that He can take it. Let's be clear: being angry with God is a sin. It is, in essence, denying that He is perfect, and putting one's self in the seat of autonomy. Jerry Bridges, in "Respectable Sins", equates blaming God/being angry with Him to blasphemy. At best, it is certainly unbelief.

I should note that I have not read Kushner’s book; my observations are based solely on the radio interview he gave today. As a biblical counselor knee-deep in theology coursework that deals with some of these particular issues, flags go up when a man-centric worldview attempts to understand God through a faulty hermeneutic. Because there is often truth mixed in with erroneous beliefs (both about God and man), the idea of a compassionate yet impotent god may seem more palatable. Many listeners probably swallowed the whole message, without comparing Kushner’s view of God to the One portrayed in the Scriptures.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Review: Elyse Fitzpatrick's "Because He Loves Me"

Elyse Fitzpatrick is who I want to be when I grow up.

Of course, I mean that completely in the Ephesians 4:15 sense of "grow up". The ability to articulate the simple, profound truth of the Gospel and its implications for day-to-day life as beautifully as Elyse has in "Because He Loves Me: How Christ Transforms Our Daily Life" speaks of a real spiritual maturity. Her passion, from the first page of this encouraging book, is for her reader to have the same joyful, settled assurance of Christ's love that she herself has found in the pages of Scripture.

Why is it that so many of us recognize our need for the Gospel - the Person and work of Jesus Christ - for salvation; then slowly move past the Good News in our daily strivings to "please God"? We come to the Cross for justification, but practically live as if sanctification depended solely on us. Elyse spots this tendency - which often leads to a moralistic, defeated attitude - and reminds the reader of the only antidote: applying the finished work of Christ to our continually sinning hearts. Weaving the entire thread of Scripture around a central point - that God FIRST loved us - Elyse shows how getting this knowlege of His deep, abiding, personal and unfathomable love for us down into the very marrow of our bones completely changes everything. In fact, it transforms our whole identity - who we reckon ourselves to be.

If we see ourselves as "foster children", who can be evicted or abandoned at any moment, we will live like it. Realizing we are a permanant, cherished part of the family - His adopted children - transforms our hearts and enables us to live for Christ in His strength. As she writes on page 148, "Any obedience that isn't motivated by His great love is nothing more than penance." Well said.

How does the Gospel message impact our walk, 10, 20, even 30 years after our conversion, when we can rattle off the Doctrines of Grace like the days of the week?

"If we don't consciously live in the light of His love, the gospel will be secondary, virtually meaningless, and Jesus Christ will fade into insignificance. Our faith will become all about us, our performance, and how we think we're doing, and our transformation will be hindered."
This tendency to take our eyes off of Him and focus inwardly on our failure becomes a viscious cycle, especially when one is battling a life-dominating sin. Many of you bear witness to this fact. This week, I received the following in an e-mail from a reader:
"...I have been REALLY struggling again lately. I have trouble turning to God, because I feel sometimes like I don't deserve His forgiveness, or to ask Him for help. Lately I have been obsessing about food and eating all day long, and binging and purging A LOT! I work as a nanny, so I am alone with kids and in a house full of junk food I wouldn't buy, and have found myself unable to keep from destructive eating behaviors. Please pray for me that I will go back to Christ for guidance, and be able to truly repent for my sin. Please also pray that I will stop worshiping false idols of food and thinness, and instead live to glorify Him..."
(emphasis mine).

This young lady sincerely loves God and wants to please Him, but her words reveal that she has fallen into the trap so common to all of us: living as if our position before God is based on our own merit. When did any of us, in our "best" moments, EVER "deserve" His forgiveness? We didn't. Christ secured it for us - while we were still His enemies. We forget this. When we succeed, we feel good and can worship. Failure brings shame and a fear of approaching God, which naturally leads to more failure and despair. We are, as Elyse points out in this book, essentially not trusting God that He is as good as He says He is.

This is unbelief, and it leads to idols. When we don't feel fully secure in our position in Christ - solely based on His righteousness and grace - we seek the satisfaction that should be found in Him alone through counterfeits. Putting our trust in these "earthly treasures" leads to fear, worry, and anxiety - which leads us ever further away from the Cross. Freedom from fear comes from contemplating and remembering the love of God, manifested in Christ. As I have written before (and Elyse so much more articulately), change in our behavior can only come from truly realizing and appreciating who God is and what He has done for us. Knowing that His kindness is what has led us to repentance (Romans 2:4) motivates us to love Him back, and approach Him with confidence. Our 'identity in Christ' (as Elyse refers to it; I might use 'position') is permanent and irrevocable. It is what frees us up to walk in love.

In the final section of "Because He Loves Me", Elyse demonstrates how remembering and contemplating this unfathomable love God has for us is the true motivation for lasting change. She writes,

"Our natural unbelief will always cast doubt on His love for us. It is the awareness of His love and only this that will equip us to wage war against sin. Until we really grasp how much He loves us, we'll never be able to imitate Him. We won't come near to Him if we're afraid of His judgment. We won't repent and keep pursuing godliness if we don't believe that our sin doesn't faze His love for us one bit. We won't want to be like Him if we believe that His love is small, stingy, censorious, severe. And we'll never be filled with His fullness until we begin to grasp the extent of His love (Eph. 3:19). As a member of His family, you're the apple of His eye, the child He loves to bless. You're His
darling."
"Every failure in sanctification is a failure in worship."

Far from minimizing the seriousness of sin, Elyse reminds the reader how costly it was to God - and invites her to rest in this reality. At the same time, we are thus enabled to "wage a vicious war against sin" - the imperative (command) that naturally follows the indicative (what God has already declared to be true). Every sin, from greed to sexual immorality, is a failure to love as we've been loved - at its root, unbelief. The key to walking in freedom and joy, then, is remembering that we're beloved children, redeemed by Jesus, set free from the power of sin. This settled confidence produces thanksgiving ane edifying speech, rather than complaining and bitterness. This is what applying the Gospel to every area of our lives looks like in practice.

I have been recommending "Because He Loves Me" to women who write me about their specific struggles, as well as counselors and anyone else who would benefit from the reminder of what Christ's perfect life, love, cross, resurrection and intercession really mean to us as we grow in Him. In short, everyone reading this would likely benefit from the encouraging and joyful explanation Elyse presents on the synergy of God's grace and our response. Like C.J. Mahaney's "The Cross Centered Life", "Because He Loves Me" trains the reader to reflect more deeply on the finished work of Christ on her behalf as a catalyst to worship, rather than presenting sanctification as a spiritual self-help plan.

See more about this wonderful book at the official website: http://beta.becausehelovesme.com/