I Am, For Once, at a Loss for Words

Okay....so here's the story.

There's this general ED recovery support group thing in the area, and once a month they bring people in who are 'recovered' to share their story of 'hope and inspiration'. So I found out about it, talked to the director by phone, (very nice lady, btw) and she had me send her my story/testimony by e-mail. I told her about my book project (mentioning the fact I am a Bible-believing Christian who counsels online), and tentatively I'm going to speak to the group. If you know anything about me, you know that Jesus is kinda important in my life...oh yeah, and He's the one who freed me of all those nasty addictions. I'm always one to give credit where credit is due.

I just g0t the following e-mail back from her:

Hi Marie,

Thanks so much for sending this along. It sounds like you’ve had an amazing journey, one that will surely impact so many people positively.

One thing I wanted to ask, though, given that we have people from all different faiths and walks of life, if there would be any way you’d consider using the term spirituality vs. strictly Christian. While we recognize that each person’s story is unique, we also want to be sure to offer stories that will allow people to connect as fully as possible.

I’m willing to talk with you more about this, if it would be helpful.

Thanks, again, for sending this along. Let me know what you think!

Now, I already know what I THINK, but I'm trying to figure out how to respond honestly, graciously, while explaining that while I have no intentions of proselytizing - but my testimony loses it's point if I delete any mentions of Christ. It sounds like that's the "real deal" - I'm sure there is no objection to the fact that I am a Christian, just so long as I keep quiet about it.

Interestingly, this organization carries adds for Remuda Ranch (a "Christian" inpatient center) on its website.

Comments and advice...please. I am going to run errands to clear my head before responding by either phone or e-mail. Not sure which is more appropriate.

UPDATE:

I just responded:

Thanks so much for getting back to me so quickly. Let's see....

First of all, I understand your concern. Speaking in a secular setting always demands an objectivity and different tone than (for example) to a teen youth group who all know each other very well. However, I honestly don't think substituting spirituality for Christian(ity) would work here - because my entire recovery hinged on what I allowed God to do in my life. "Spirituality" is a very broad term, which encompasses occultism, panentheism, and wicca - but I wouldn't want to imply that tarot cards or a tree or bush would be able to do anything about someone's addiction. Even the 12-Step programs started out being Christian, recognizing the individual's need of God. Many of the key incidents mentioned in my story occurred in or in relation to a church...so even if I didn't specifically mention the fact that I am a Christian, the listeners would figure it out by implication.

If what you're asking is to eliminate any mention of God (or, more specifically, Jesus Christ) from the presentation, I honestly couldn't do that because there'd be nothing left to tell. Seriously - we'd have no story. :-) I seek to give credit where credit is due, and in my personal experience, He gets all of it. I totally get where you're coming from - wanting to avoid offending anyone - but leaving His name out of my recovery story would leave a watered-down (or at best, very incomplete) version of events. I don't have an agenda to condemn or convert anyone - just to share hope through relating my experience of restoration. Folks tend to take or leave it, but I don't believe in shoving anything down anyone's throat. I noticed the advertisement for Remuda Ranch on ****'s website, so I figured Christian perspectives were okay. If this group is not an appropriate venue for my particular story, I completely understand and as they say, no harm no foul! But I hope my explanation makes sense and you can understand why, while a few details may certainly be omitted without affecting the thrust of the story, I cannot eliminate all references to Christ and still have it be an accurate rendering of my journey to health.

Thank you so much for your kind time and attention, and have a great weekend!

Sincerely,

That'll probably go over like a ham at a bar mitzvah, but it was the best I could do. Sigh. Oh well.

The Dangers of Idolatry, 21st Century Style

The last time I idolized a celebrity, I was in college. Of course, I thought that my idolization of Nadia Comaneci was a positive thing which implied the depth of my commitment to my chosen sport: gymnastics. In late 1989, just after I had started my freshman year at Syracuse University, Comaneci defected from Ceauceascu's Romania - with a married man, and with whom she promptly shacked up. (I forget his name and am too lazy to Google it - he was an immigrant himself, and promptly left his wife for, in her words, "a party girl who could do gymnastics in bed"). Nadia's trampy appearance and indifferent, graceless attitude at the time became tabloid fodder for months. Having worshiped her since age 12, I was devastated. How could "Little Miss Perfect" commit adultery?

A bunch of other Americans were pretty dismayed, too. Then, I clearly remember the Editor in Chief of my local newspaper (himself an immigrant from Hungary) offering wise perspective on our celebrity culture in a piece called "Let's Be More Blase about Nadia". The problem with us Americans is that we worship media-generated images (and I say this as someone who has lived abroad and can attest that other cultures do not, by and large, ascribe the same demi-god-like status to their celebrities as we Yanks do). Then, we have the nerve to be disappointed when those celebrities do not turn out to be as perfect as we believe, but turn into flawed adults with clay feet just like everyone else.

Fast-forward a couple of years. I greatly admired (then) Christian singer Amy Grant, and bought all her albums. When she had the affair with Vince Gil and lambasted her (Christian) fanbase for having the AUDACITY to note that both adultery and divorce are....um,...morally wrong, I was disappointed. Not devastated, mind you; but disappointed. I'd expected more from a woman who'd made a career out of being a Christian. While I'd never truly "idolized" Amy Grant, I genuinely believed she was far more spiritual than I. Then I read some of the interviews, in which she revealed herself to be an immature woman with no moral compass.

Lately, this Michael Jackson media circus has brought to mind the absurdity and very real spiritual danger of idolizing celebrities. Leaving aside the fact everyone seems ready to canonize a man who denied the very deity of Christ, who wasted his life and sought only earthly glory; whose narcissism stretched the bounds of credulity and whose greed left him $400 million in debt; masses of people are weeping for the image of a man they never knew. As Fred Sanders wrote last week in "Why I Don't Pray for Celebrities",

"Celebrities are such odd phenomena. They are these personas that are presented to us, carefully packaged by a publicity team and then transmitted through a vast system for the dissemination of their images. We know nothing about celebrities except what they want us to know. They and their handlers project a public image by sending a set of coordinated signals: posed and retouched photos, bits of biographical information, sound bites, reports of how they feel, and of course their own artistic productions or performances....

I also don’t pray for fictional characters. I don’t ask God to send rescuers to Robinson Crusoe, or to get Gilligan and his friends off that crazy island, or to make things work out right for the people on Lost. Those are not real people or real islands.

I know that somewhere behind the persona of any celebrity, there must be a real person. Tom Hanks lives somewhere, has a mom and a dad and loved ones. Jennifer Aniston might have pets, and they probably love her. Even Jack Black must be an actual human. If I actually knew any of those people personally, I would pray for them. But I would not pray for a life-sized cardboard cut-out of them, and what I have available to me in their celebrity personas is essentially an elaborate cut-out."

People have been weeping, hysterically and publicly, professing undying love for a man they never knew. That, dear readers, is idolatry; not compassion. Do these folks weep so profusely for the 24,000 souls who starve to death in Africa each day? The one person every eleven seconds (a conservative estimate, by the way) who dies apart from Christ? Perhaps some of them do. If so, good for them. But the endless fascination with Michael Jackson, coupled with a desperate attempt to construct him into something he was not is morbidity at it's worst.

As has been pointed out elsewhere in the blogosphere, Jackson was by all accounts a deeply disturbed individual who wore his brokenness on his sleeve. He desperately needed Christ, but instead chose to deny Him (first in the cult of Jehovah Witness; much later as a self-professed Muslim). As his fame grew, his bizarre behavior seemed to increase. Public fascination turned fickle - he was the scapegoat everyone loved to hate. Except those who were obsessed with him, and believed they loved him. Ironically, the family that for most of his adult life distanced themself from him now somehow can't seem to say enough good about him.

Michael Jackson was certainly deserving of pity, (and is even more so now), but the Bible is clear that we reap what we sow. A life lived in utter carnality without regard for God's moral order (or basic common sense) will ultimately come to ruin. See Proverbs 11:18; 22:8, Psalm 36: 2 and Romans chapter 1, for starters. I am not singling out Jackson as I see this principle at work every day in the courtroom, but his behavior was lived out very much in the public eye. And now, of course, many would like to re-write his story. With all due respect, God gives everyone enough revelation to turn to Him. A literate, American celebrity, familiar with the Bible, the claims of Christ and the commands of God, has literally no excuse.

If this post sounds a bit more cynical than usual, forgive me. It's not that I'm oblivious to the fact Jackson was a tormented soul. However, much of it was (whether the ever-fickle media now wants to admit it or not) of his own making. I have seen enough real tragedy between the courtroom and the hospitals where I interpret not to have a lot of misplaced sympathy left over for the rich, pampered and idolized. Idolatry is still wrong, no matter who the star is.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God". - Hebrews 12:2

31 Signs You May Be an Internet Addict

#1. In the supermarket, you automatically try to add items to your cart by double-clicking them.

#2. You check all of your e-mail accounts, Facebook inbox, and blog's comment box for new messages before your morning coffee has finished brewing.

#3. During worship, you're scoping out the sanctuary for people to add as 'Friend' on Facebook/Myspace .

#4. You think the Praise team is lame, because they're not on YouTube.

#5. Your five-year-old calls from the hallway for help with the bathtub faucet. You mumble, "I'll send you the link and you can do it yourself."

#6. You've listened to more Paul Washer Podcasts than messages from your own pastor.

#7. Your fingers are covered with mouse blisters, and when you wake up in the morning the whites of your eyes look like road maps of Texas.

#8. You don't own a single cookbook, but you have 78 recipes bookmarked.

#9. You know every word John Piper said at this year's Shepherd's Conference in real time, even though it took place two time zones away.

#10. You've exceeded your bandwidth again. You e-mail John Macarthur in frustration, asking him to preach shorter sermons.

#11. It's 5:30 pm, the house is a mess, the laundry is unfolded, and you have no idea what you're making for supper. However, the day is a success as you've thoroughly made a case for pre-millenialism on a bulletin board.

#12. You don't know who that Challies.com guy is, but his very existence makes you feel inferior.

#13. Your self-worth is determined by the numbers on your Site Meter.

#14. You love your computer, because your friends live inside it.

#15. While interacting with co-workers, you are mentally construcing them as Meez avatars.

#16. You consider Tweeting, Skyping, and Super-Poking to be perfectly normal things to do to other people.

#17. You quote Wikipedia at cocktail parties.

#18. You realize you haven't prayed in a while, and make a mental note to IM or Skype Jesus later on.

#19. You use E-Sword more than the hard copy.

#20. Your furniture has more dust on it than your laptop monitor.

#21. Texting while driving?? You'd blog while driving, if your aircard worked in the car.

#22. While in line at Disney World, you start to get jittery wondering what RSS feeds and widgets you're missing.

#23. You cannot understand why God still doesn't have e-mail. You get up during meals to check yours.

#24. Over 90% of your news and information comes from other people's blogs and embedded YouTube clips.

#25. You can't unload the dishwasher or iron a shirt without your Playlist providing background ambiance.

#26. If you haven't blogged in 48 hours, you start to panic - what if your rankings in the Stat Counter fall, or your regular readers remove you from their blogroll??

#27. You wonder how civilization survived without downloadable clipart, e-zines, and online banking. The idea of driving to the bank to make a transaction seems like an archaic, unreasonable imposition on your time.

#28. In the evenings, you and your husband sit cozily in the living room. Each of you hunched over your respective laptop.

#29. You Skype friends who live 2 miles away from you.

#30. You talk about the Pyro Guys as if you know them personally.

#31. You have burned meals trying to figure out how hard-core of a Dispensationalist you really are.

What symptoms of addiction have I missed?

On that note.....a brief sabbatical is in order. The kids are out of school, and I must get away from this book project long enough to spend time with them.

New Blog - Support Network for Bulimia, Anorexia

It's true. It was bound to happen sooner or later - most of the last year has been consumed by reading up on the nouthetic (biblical) approach to addictions, e-mail counseling women who stumble across my testimony online, and writing my book manuscript. Last night, I set up a separate blog to encourage, inform and instruct Christian women with eating disorders: http://redeemedfromthepit.blogspot.com/

Hopefully by the time you visit, that Commie-looking star in the upper left corner will have been replaced by a more appropriate and edifying graphic. Fortunately, some Christian bloggers, like Ashley, are also creative web designer-type folks.

My purpose in keeping the new blog separate from this one, where I like to talk about theology and personal insights from the Word, is really two-fold. Helping other Christian women overcome this particular addictive sin has become a ministry of sorts to me, and the internet is a venue where most women feel safe. Relatively few Christian women will proactively seek support or accountability in their own churches, but they will turn to a search engine for answers. (I know. I used to be one of them). One of the few sources of genuine spiritual help and personal encouragement I found in the early days of my repentance was the internet. All it takes to see the spiritual implication of an eating disorder is one or two people with a testimony and a willingness to call sin sin. A regenerate women, even while mired in this lifestyle, is still able to discern the errors of "pop psychology" and listen to the Holy Spirit.

My intention is that this new blog will be a place where Christian anorexics and bulimics can do just that.

Secondly, an agent spoke with me yesterday about my book project. He said that my proposal and chapter summary were well-written, which is encouraging. However, as an unknown first-time author, he suggested I build a "platform" (target audience) before trying to get the book published; otherwise, the proposal will be a hard sell. Unfortunately, having a doctrinally-sound, well-written manuscript is not the only factor in getting published. Publishers are less likely to take on projects from authors unaffiliated with ministries.

Who knows where God is leading - if I end up self-publishing, so be it. I will make the book available as a downloadable file online, and whoever may benefit from the message is welcome to it. Hopefully, others will contribute testimonies and writing for the new blog, as well. I would like it to be an interactive, helpful forum.

In other news, today is my 38th birthday. Yippee! The kids were so excited for me to get up this morning (I crashed about 1:30 am; I was up late creating the new blog) so they could give me the presents they had carefully chosen from Dollar Tree. It was so sweet - Natalia gave me a purple plastic face fan with a neck strap "for da beach"!; Stefan a carefully wrapped tube of shampoo; Miro a Sugar Pear Body Scrub (it even has the rough beady thingies); and Valentina a jar of hot salsa and homemade tissue paper and pipe-cleaner rose.

My husband brought me real roses (and Lindt white chocolate balls, too!) Very fun and heart-warming. So yep; I'm a year closer to the big four-oh.

Satan Bites the Dust Again

...and another daughter of the King finds freedom from bulimia.

This from my inbox today:

"Bless the LORD, O my soul, and ALL that is within me BLESS His HOLY name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not ALL His benefits. Who forgives ALL your iniquities, who heals ALL your diseases, Who redeems your life from the pit. Who crowns you with STEADFAST Love and Mercy" (Psalm 103)

((((MARIE))))

Thank you for your e-mail. Oh, what a FAITHFUL God we serve - I am so grateful for your prayers and encouragement - now I am able to write to you with news of AMAZING breakthrough, cleansing and freedom - the GLORY all going to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He truely has redeemed my life from the pit and crowned me with steadfast love and mercy. By His Grace I am back in a place of TOTAL SURRENDER to Him, safe in the arms of His beautiful and gentle Love, drinking from the living WATER that springs up to ETERNAL LIFE.

One day I will stop and read [my book] through completely. I am so thankful that you have written that book. It will help many people to recognise that repentance is needed from eating disorders. Oh how amazing it is when God washed us clean and removes our transgressions as far as the east is from the west. He has faithfully helped me to turn all over to Him and give Him the reigns. Is it always easy? NO. Is it the only thing I would ever want to choose? YES.

For three weeks I have been attempting to eat three healthy meals a day - even if for the evening meal that means buying healthy eating ready meals for now. Many times the temptation to make food a god again was so strong - to turn to it for comfort instead of running to the loving arms of a faithful SAVIOUR. Some nights I did fall to over-eating, and yet somehow God in His Mercy gave me strength to get up the next morning and once more look to Him and walk the narrow path....I can surely say like Joseph, "What the enemy meant for evil, God has used for good".... for it has been a weekend where I've had to trust in God by Faith as never before - and seen just how strong He is and the beauty and strength found in His sanctuary no matter what the external circumstances.

This Evening I can lift my hands once more to worship and praise Him. i am the richest person alive. We all are who know Christ Jesus as Lord. Oh how He has blessed me - not just helping me back to work and to my place in His body in the church, but also taking me on a journey everyday deeper into His heart. When it is hard I will look to Him and remember this weekend......

Nothing is too difficult for God. His HOLY WAYS are the delight of my soul. HE IS FAITHFUL and has promised to never leave or abandon His heritage. He loves us more than we could ever know. I'm so excited for when the strength in my limbs returns to be able to dance and jump in praise to God once more........I thought the enemy had won, I had totally given up, i thought there was no hope..... but it was a lie, there is always hope in Christ....ALWAYS. Even (and especially) for sinners like me. Today I stand forgiven and justified because of the price Jesus paid in His suffering and pain. What can i do, but give all my life back to Him in worship and thanks.

God is too awesome for words. His kindness truly does lead us to repentance, and He sets our feet on that solid Rock. That's three women in two months who've found their strength in Christ to walk out of their self-inflicted prisons. He will restore the years the locust has eaten, and is already turning their mourning into dancing!

Riddle Me This

Help me out here. How, exactly, does the following passage jibe with Eternal Security of the Believer? I'm just sayin'.


Mark 9:43-50

If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. ⁴⁵And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. ⁴⁷And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, ⁴⁸where
" 'their worm does not die,
and the fire is not quenched.' ⁴⁹Everyone will be salted with fire.

⁵⁰"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other."

Explain it to me as if I were four. Bonus points if you can do it without quoting Calvin.

Gracias.

UPDATE: Yesterday, I read a great sermon from John Piper's archives that deals in some depth with the question I raise here. He has preached on this several times, and is always questioned, "Are you saying a person can lose his salvation?" That's not what he's saying, (if you know John Piper, you know he's like a 23-point Calvinist), but the subject of saving faith and sanctification cannot be done justice by taking a small, sound-bite quote out of context.

"Our response: the battle for obedience is absolutely necessary for salvation because it IS the fight of faith. The battle against lust is absolutely necessary for salvation because it is the battle against unbelief. Faith alone delivers from hell and the faith that delivers from hell delivers from lust."

The righteous shall live by faith, basically.

Now go read the whole sermon, and a whole bunch of other ones he has at "Desiring God" that are similar. Good stuff.

Humility on Display of International Stage (Ken Lee)

This is hilarious, in any language.....today my boss at one of the hospitals where I work called me over to show me this (the Polish interpreter had shown it to her, and her reaction was, "I gotta show Marie that!!") This is the funniest thing I've seen all week.

This is a case study in why you should strive to cultivate a little humility - worst case scenario, you might end up an international laughing stock. (If you don't speak English and can't sing, don't do Mariah Carey in public). The exchange, which is subtitled, is taken from Bulgaria's "Music Idol":




And now, Mariah Carey's reaction:



This girl became a big hit in Bulgaria, after taking some English lessons:



At least she has a healthy self-esteem!

This brings up an interesting question in my mind, as my sons are currently watching an obese person fall off of huge rubber balls into mud ("Wipe Out"). Is it morally wrong to laugh at people who go on national TV and make fools of themselves?? I mean, some of these individuals aren't really rocket-scientist material, but really seem to think they're the cat's pajamas. I rarely catch any TV, but when my attention is called to it I invariably notice the high opinions folks tend to have of themselves - without the goods to back it up. Funny stuff.