Sunday, June 28, 2009

32 Signs You May Be an Internet Addict

#1. In the supermarket, you automatically try to add items to your cart by double-clicking them.

#2. You check all of your e-mail accounts, Facebook inbox, and blog's comment box for new messages before your morning coffee has finished brewing.

#3. During worship, you're scoping out the sanctuary for people to add as 'Friend' on Facebook/Myspace .

#4. You desperately wish the Praise team were on YouTube.

#5. Your five-year-old calls from the hallway for help with the bathtub faucet. You mumble, "I'll send you the link and you can do it yourself."

#6. You've listened to more Paul Washer Podcasts than messages from your own pastor.

#7. Your fingers are covered with mouse blisters, and when you wake up in the morning the whites of your eyes look like road maps of Texas.

#8. You don't own a single cookbook, but you have 78 recipes bookmarked.

#9. You know every word John Piper said at this year's Shepherd's Conference in real time, even though it took place two time zones away.

#10. You've exceeded your bandwidth again. You e-mail John Macarthur in frustration, asking him to preach shorter sermons.

#11. It's 5:30 pm, the house is a mess, the laundry is unfolded, and you have no idea what you're making for supper. However, the day is a success as you've thoroughly made a case for historical cessationism on a bulletin board.

#12. You don't know who that guy is, but his very existence makes you feel inferior.

#13. Your self-worth is determined by the numbers on your Site Meter.

#14. You love your computer, because your friends live inside it.

#15. While interacting with co-workers, you are mentally constructing them as Meez avatars.

#16. You consider Tweeting, Skyping, and Super-Poking to be perfectly normal things to do to other people.

#17. You quote Wikipedia at cocktail parties.

#18. You realize you haven't prayed in a while, and make a mental note to IM or Skype Jesus later on.

#19. You use E-Sword more than the hard copy.

#20. Your furniture has more dust on it than your laptop monitor.

#21. Texting while driving?? You'd blog while driving, if your aircard worked in the car.

#22. While in line at Disney World, you start to get jittery wondering what RSS feeds you're missing.

#23. You cannot understand why God still doesn't have e-mail. You get up during meals to check yours.

#24. Over 90% of your news and information comes from other people's blogs and embedded YouTube clips.

#25. You can't unload the dishwasher or iron a shirt without your Playlist providing background ambiance.

#26. If you haven't blogged in 48 hours, you start to panic - what if your rankings in the Stat Counter fall, or your regular readers remove you from their blogroll??

#27. You wonder how civilization survived without downloadable clipart, e-zines, and online banking. The idea of driving to the bank to make a transaction seems like an archaic, unreasonable imposition on your time.

#28. In the evenings, you and your husband sit cozily in the living room. Each of you hunched over your respective laptop.

#29. You Skype friends who live 2 miles away from you.

#30. You talk about the Pyro Guys as if you know them personally.

#31. You have burned meals trying to figure out how hard-core of a Dispensationalist you really are.

#32. You lose sleep not knowing why your neighbor un-Friended you.

What symptoms of addiction have I missed?

On that note.....a brief sabbatical is in order. The kids are out of school, and I must get away from this book project long enough to spend time with them.

1 comment:

Mark said...

You don't own a single cookbook, but you have 78 recipes bookmarked.

eesh! I guess I am in trouble, and I thought I was doing so well... :)

Happy Independence day!