Commentary and Analysis from a Biblical Perspective (if the mainstream media won't touch it, somebody has to!)
Sunday, June 28, 2009
32 Signs You May Be an Internet Addict
#1. In the supermarket, you automatically try to add items to your cart by double-clicking them.
#2. You check all of your e-mail accounts, Facebook inbox, and blog's comment box for new messages before your morning coffee has finished brewing.
#3. During worship, you're scoping out the sanctuary for people to add as 'Friend' on Facebook/Myspace .
#4. You desperately wish the Praise team were on YouTube.
#5. Your five-year-old calls from the hallway for help with the bathtub faucet. You mumble, "I'll send you the link and you can do it yourself."
#6. You've listened to more Paul Washer Podcasts than messages from your own pastor.
#7. Your fingers are covered with mouse blisters, and when you wake up in the morning the whites of your eyes look like road maps of Texas.
#8. You don't own a single cookbook, but you have 78 recipes bookmarked.
#9. You know every word John Piper said at this year's Shepherd's Conference in real time, even though it took place two time zones away.
#10. You've exceeded your bandwidth again. You e-mail John Macarthur in frustration, asking him to preach shorter sermons.
#11. It's 5:30 pm, the house is a mess, the laundry is unfolded, and you have no idea what you're making for supper. However, the day is a success as you've thoroughly made a case for historical cessationism on a bulletin board.
#12. You don't know who that Challies.com guy is, but his very existence makes you feel inferior.
#13. Your self-worth is determined by the numbers on your Site Meter.
#14. You love your computer, because your friends live inside it.
#15. While interacting with co-workers, you are mentally constructing them as Meez avatars.
#16. You consider Tweeting, Skyping, and Super-Poking to be perfectly normal things to do to other people.
#17. You quote Wikipedia at cocktail parties.
#18. You realize you haven't prayed in a while, and make a mental note to IM or Skype Jesus later on.
#19. You use E-Sword more than the hard copy.
#20. Your furniture has more dust on it than your laptop monitor.
#21. Texting while driving?? You'd blog while driving, if your aircard worked in the car.
#22. While in line at Disney World, you start to get jittery wondering what RSS feeds you're missing.
#23. You cannot understand why God still doesn't have e-mail. You get up during meals to check yours.
#24. Over 90% of your news and information comes from other people's blogs and embedded YouTube clips.
#25. You can't unload the dishwasher or iron a shirt without your Playlist providing background ambiance.
#26. If you haven't blogged in 48 hours, you start to panic - what if your rankings in the Stat Counter fall, or your regular readers remove you from their blogroll??
#27. You wonder how civilization survived without downloadable clipart, e-zines, and online banking. The idea of driving to the bank to make a transaction seems like an archaic, unreasonable imposition on your time.
#28. In the evenings, you and your husband sit cozily in the living room. Each of you hunched over your respective laptop.
#29. You Skype friends who live 2 miles away from you.
#30. You talk about the Pyro Guys as if you know them personally.
#31. You have burned meals trying to figure out how hard-core of a Dispensationalist you really are.
#32. You lose sleep not knowing why your neighbor un-Friended you.
What symptoms of addiction have I missed?
On that note.....a brief sabbatical is in order. The kids are out of school, and I must get away from this book project long enough to spend time with them.
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.