I Swear I am Not Making this Up...

It's started. The yearly Christian merchandi$e catalogues, replete with kitchy, "Christianized" toys and electronic games marketed at the middle-class Evangelical consumer.

But this year seems to have reached a new level of absurdity.


Meet Sarah, one of three in a line of "God's Girlz", a spiritualized-knock off of the street-wise and secular "Bratz Dolls" that are so trampy that most non-Christian Moms won't let their girls play with them. But never mind. The Bratz are "keepin' it real" and come by their attitude honestly.

This is the blurb below the pictures of these three juvenile jems (one of whom sports skinny jeans, platinum-blond hair and a "pick Jesus" T-shirt, visible over her electric guitar):

"Tired of dolls with a worldly appearance? You'll welcome these "mom-approved" dolls with a perfect fit of faith and fashion! Whether your girls play with nature-loving Hannah, musical Abigail, or worshipful Sarah, they'll love the stylishly modest outfits featuring faith-affirming T-shirts. And you'll rejoice in the biblical message each posable doll communicates. Ages 4 and up."

(emphasis mine).

Stylishly modest??? Ummm...she's wearing a TANK TOP and SILVER LEGGINGS (to the knee). This is Sarah, the "worshipful" one. I wouldn't let my daughter dress that way for Halloween, let alone for worship. But, then again, she's "a princess" (note the crown on her head and explanation on box), so maybe it's all a self-esteem building tactic.

It is not so unbelievable that a manufacturer would make something like this (we are, after all, a very lucrative demographic); what's inconceivable to me is that any woman with a pulse would buy one of these for her daughter.

Seen any absurd merchandise bearing a Christian label lately? Send it in. I love satire.

UPDATE: Barb, they published it over at "A Little Leaven"! Check out the comments: http://www.alittleleaven.com/2008/11/christianized-bratz-doll.html#comments

I'll have to return the favor by thinking up some smart-alec observations about the Jesus nightlight they posted over there.