My interview with 700 Club Up...and a Few Disclaimers

From my other blog (don't have much to blog about lately; see my thoughts on CBN's piece on me below. And THEN go buy my book -- it's much better!!)

The 700 Club has finished production on my testimony/interview, and has included the broadcast on their website (Eventually there should be a link to my book there, as well, once the text transcript is up):

Permalink to Broadcast

A few thoughts on the broadcast.

First, it's important that the viewer understand that this was a very brief, summarized paraphrase of both my testimony (see page on this blog), and the interview itself. I actually was interviewed for over an hour, and I understand the limitations of shaving it down into four minutes. However, besides a few errors in the "summarization" they made of my testimony (it was 17 years, not 10; the bulimia was at it's worst in high school not college; but these details don't really change the overall intent), I was less than thrilled with a few other things.

The producers completely left out my discussion of how I became a Christian, and eliminated all discussion of my relationship with Christ. It almost sounded as if I had been brought up in a Christian home; married a Christian right out of college; and continued (or immediately started) attending church. Nothing could be further from the truth. While they mis-pronounced my husband's name, a much more significant Name was omitted entirely -- that of Jesus Christ!! The whole POINT of a testimony is to glorify HIM, and I discussed the Person and work of Christ at length in this interview. Unfortunately, none of that made it in.

Nowhere was the Gospel presented, although we talked at length about justification and sanctification during the taping.

I specifically asked that the Healing Room Ministries (a doctrinally-aberrational group) not be used. They mentioned it anyway.

As a biblical counselor, I was extremely disappointed that my entire explanation of renewing the mind, repentance and how to overcome life-dominating sin was left out. Roughly three quarters of the piece focused on my childhood and youth, but little time was given to the answer to addiction. Also disappointing is the fact that NO MENTION was made of my book, "Redeemed from the Pit."

Well, you win some and you lose some; but I do pray that God somehow uses it anyway.

Question: "Why Do You Follow Jesus?"

Liz over at myloverismine.blogspot.com asked me the following question: "Why do you follow Jesus?"

Hmm. Good question. Thanks for asking! Here are just a few of my thoughts, which I gathered quickly before getting the kids up for school today:

Answer: The question presupposes that I am, in fact, following Jesus - and all that entails....Jesus Himself said that "the one who loves [Him] will keep [His] commandments" (John 14:21). Since none of us do that perfectly, and I least of all, following Jesus demands and understanding of repentance and grace that does not come naturally to my prideful, self-sufficient nature.

And yet, I cannot live without Him, and would not want to.

So, what are my reasons for following Him?

1.) He is God. (Romans 9:5). The deity of Jesus Christ, an indisputable biblical truth, means that He is the highest authority in the universe - He is the absolute sovereign Ruler. His Kingdom is not a democracy.

2.) Axiomatically, I am His slave. (1 Cor. 4:1). I do not "make" Jesus Lord; He already IS Lord. My obligation is to submit to His loving, gracious, and absolute authority.

3.) His unbelievable kindness is what led me to repentance (Romans 2:4). Fear of God is indeed the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10), but craven fear is not what turned my heart to Him.

4.) He is patient with me (Romans 2:4). Why would One so perfect and impeccably holy condescend to be patient with one as stubborn and corrupt as I? How can I not respond to Him?

5.) He predestined me in love to be His adopted child (Ephesians 1:5). I cannot fathom why God would choose me as His own, but I know that it had nothing to do with anything He saw in me (Eph. 2:8-9).

6.) He is gentle and humble in heart (Matthew 11:29). The King of the Universe is gentle and humble...and He chose me to belong to Him. Unbelievable.

7.) He loved me first (1 John 4:19). I will never understand why Jesus would love me, but I know this is true. Not responding to Him is inconceivable.

8.) He really did die for me personally (Galatians 2:20). This fact is unthinkable to the unregenerate mind, and when I stop to consider what the perfect and loving Son of God went through on my behalf, the unrepented sin I am carrying around causes me deep shame. Following Him demands that I see my sin for what it is, and what it actually cost Him.

9.) I know that Jesus loves me, even when I fail to follow Him, because He even loves those who turn away (Mark 10:21) and He restores our relationship each and every time I repent He forgives me (Luke 17:4; Jesus never commands us to do something He does not do Himself).

10.) Jesus loved children (Matt. 19:14), and they loved Him. Kids are not naturally drawn to someone unpleasant to be around.

11.) He is compassionate, even on the most disgraceful and shameful situations (John 8:11; Luke 8:40 ff.)

12.) He feels affection toward us (Philippians 1:3-4), which He enables us to have for one another. He is not cold nor indifferent.

13.) He wants us to be with Him in His Kingdom, eternally happy beyond what we could ask or imagine (John 14:3).

14.) He enables me to change, through the power of the Holy Spirit, in order to live a life truly pleasing to Him (Ephesians 4:21-25).

Interview with Ashlie Kyles of Bella Ministries

Link to Bellanomics here

HAVE YOU FALLEN INTO THE PIT? HERE'S HOPE!

In September, I had the opportunity to do a Q&A with Marie Notcheva, the author of "Redeemed from the Pit: Biblical Repentance and Restoration from the Bondage of Eating Disorders". She has been studying Biblical Counseling since 2009, and is near the completion of the certification process with the NANC (National Association of Nouthetic Counselors). She counsels Christian women in person, and occasionally by e-mail, who struggle with anorexia, bulimia, and food-related bondages. Please take a moment to learn more about her ministry...

Q: What was the inspiration for starting this organization?
A: I was anorexic and bulimic for 17 years. God graciously granted me repentance and freedom. I began writing about my journey, in the hopes it would help others with similar struggles.

Q: Who can benefit from you or the use of your organization?
A: Christian women struggling with eating disorders, as well as counselors and those close to them trying to help according to biblical principles. My book goes into what the Bible says about life-dominating sin in general, as well as what God expects us to do (and how to renew our mind) as He frees us. Many people do not think of eating disordered behavior as being sinful, but God wants us to walk in freedom and holiness!

Q: What programs, products or services do you offer to the community?
A: My book, which was forewarded by bestselling author and speaker Martha Peace, can be purchased at http://www.calvarypress.com/home.asp I also blog at: http://redeemedfromthepit.blogspot.com/ I counsel (free of charge) under the authority of my local church in Massachusetts.

Q: What advice would you offer to someone interested in starting or getting involved with your type of business/organization?
A: Biblical counselors are desperately needed in this age of man-centered thinking and Godless psychology (and "Christian" programs that are based on psychological counseling constructs). Study and do the training necessary to minister the Scriptures to hurting people! If your church does not offer a biblical counseling program, suggest starting one.

Q: Where are your services offered (local, national, international)?
A: My book is available for order online. I counsel in Massachusetts, but I have received e-mails from women all over the world. I respond to each one personally and refer her to a local biblical counselor in her area (where possible).

Q: What else would you like us to know about you or your organization?
A: My testimony and an interview with me about how I overcame eating disorders in God's strength will appear on The 700 Club within a few months. Through speaking and writing, I hope to be a blessing and a light to those struggling in the pit of anorexia and bulimia. You are not alone!

Bellanomics, LLC personally thanks Marie Notcheva for taking the time out to answer a few questions. You can read here for the publisher's description of Marie's book, including the foreword written by Martha Peace: http://www.calvarypress.com/home.asp.

In Defense of Facebook....

The last couple of years have seen several high-profile pastors, primarily from the FIC stream, decrying the evils of Facebook and its use. Frankly, some of their concerns are well-founded: the excessive time spent online by many Christians is poor stewardship; also, many marriages have hit the rocks because of the temptations offered by "social networking". (Looking up and connecting with old flames is a bad idea, folks, even in cyber-space). Additionally, Facebook seems to have changed the way the younger generation (and their parents) view friendship - we've become yet more isolated as we reduce social communication to comments in boxes. As with many things, social networking sites have their downside.

However, the fact remains that if used wisely, Facebook (in particular) is an ideal evangelism tool.

Ten years ago, if you had told me I could show an article on the Trinity - in Bulgarian - to 25 (or so) of my non-Christian friends in Sofia - simultaneously - I would have wondered what you were smoking. Sharing a link on Facebook affords one the opportunity to engage in (online) discussion - or not. It is a more subtle (and less threatening) way of sharing doctrinal truth than, say, initiating a discussion with your best friend's brother at the Fourth of July cookout (and seeing that he is visibly uncomfortable). There are those who will read an article in the privacy of their own home, and even months after the fact ask you about it. A shared link is low pressure; there's no awkwardness. Not interested? Don't click. But truth is there for the taking - and I'll be happy to make it available.

In fact, there are many ways of sharing biblical principles on Facebook, but it's invention offers something actually far better: a way to stay in touch with far-flung people after you have met and built relationships with them. This is exactly how I have seen two young women come to Christ in the last 8 weeks.

In late August, I served in Albania at an evangelical summer camp for teenagers. It was a lot of fun, quite frankly, and I became quite close to a number of the kids - who, predictably, "Friended" me on Facebook. Two weeks after returning home, one of the 17-year-old girls (who comes from a family openly hostile to religion in general and Christianity in particular) initiated chats with me. She had many questions about grace, belief in Christ, and the afterlife. In addition to sending her links from the gotquestions.org site which dealt with Gospel fundamentals (in both Albanian and English), I explained to her how she could know Christ and what regeneration is. She turned to Him in her heart; went to church the next week, and is now a devout follower of Christ - despite the fact she has no discipleship and virtually no fellowship in her hometown.

Last week, another one of the teen girls - who had been discussing college applications and the upcoming TOEFL exam with me - suddenly switched gears mid-way through a Facebook chat. "Marie...can I ask you a favor?" she typed. "Can you teach me to pray?" Naturally, this led to an in-depth discussion about how we can be in relationship with God - through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. Thanks to the British church-planting team (under whose auspices I served in Albania), she already knew a lot about the Person and work of Christ. She just needed help connecting the dots, and the assurance that she could be His child. She wrote, "i feel the necessity to believe on Him..." I have never witnessed such a sincere hunger and desire to know God as I did during that impassioned "chat", nor such spontaneous joy after she repented and prayed to know Him as Savior. Also from a non-Christian family, she had fears and we talked about counting the cost. Undetered, she began reading the Bible online and sought out the pastor two days later to tell him about her conversion.

While these two conversations (and subsequent changed lives) would not have happened in this way without direct, real-life, human connection and relationship, the fact of the matter is that I was only with these girls for 8 days...and following that, our friendship continued remotely. Facebook is the medium through which we were able to stay in touch...and ultimately, God used it as the tool through which I was able to lead them to Himself. (The "means" is always His Word. There are different ways of communicating His Truth, though: online versions of the Bible work just as well as leather-bound editions.) Bible study is easier to conduct via Skype, however, as multiple people can participate in real-time.

I praise God for the two young girls whose names are now written down in glory, and for the technology which can certainly be used for His glory.

My Book Has Been Released!

...Hot off the press (so hot that even I have not yet seen the physical copy,) the book I have labored long and hard over went "live" last night on the publisher's website. Calvary Press is releasing "Redeemed from the Pit: Biblical Repentance and Restoration from the Bondage of Eating Disorders" under their new imprint, Interior Publications (I'm not really sure what that's about or what the implications are, but as long as it doesn't affect marketability - which it shouldn't, with Martha Peace's name on the cover, and all the endorsements from biblical counselors inside - I'm happy.)

From the publisher's website, here is the description and Martha Peace's Foreword:

NEW! Check out our eBooks for download!

HAVE YOU FALLEN INTO THE PIT? HERE'S HOPE! REDEEMED FROM THE PIT by Marie Notcheva • Up to 3% of ALL adolescents in the United States have symptoms of bulimia. • 5-15% of ALL adult women show the same signs. Are you one (or do you know someone) of the literally thousands who suffer from an eating disorder, most likely bulimia? Do you see yourself as fat and unattractive? Do you feel as though you don’t “fit in” and suffer from periods of deep depression? Has binging on food and then purging become a daily part of your routine? HERE IS HOPE! Drawing from her own experiences with the disorder, author Marie Notcheva shows you how to overcome this life-destroying habit. No, not by some contrived “self help” system—but by the power of the Lord Jesus Christ! Notcheva believes that the person suffering from an eating disorder is not a victim of a “disease”; it is not something that has befallen them or has been thrust upon them. Rather, the bulimic became so by a series of choices. They chose to feel a certain way about themselves. They chose to start on a path of behavior that leads to a destructive habit. Likewise, those suffering from bulimia can start making correct choices. They can make the choice to believe that their behavior is sin, not a disease. They can believe that the Bible is the Word of God, and that by trusting in the sacrifice of Christ for sinners, they can have new life—and that they can have victory, not only over bulimia, but over the greatest threat of all: eternal destruction. This book may indeed prove to be a “life saver” to many. It will certainly give tremendous hope to all who read it. FOREWARD BY MARTHA PEACE Since Mother Eve fell into sin, almost all women, Christians or not, have desired to be beautiful. Different cultures, over time, have defined beautiful in different ways. Remember the bee-hive hairdos of the 1960's? Ancient Roman women thought that beautiful, too! Well, the bee-hive went out and thin came in. Today, we are greatly influenced by the media to think that the only truly beautiful women are thin; very thin. We want to look like the movie stars, news anchors, and models that are almost always super-slim. I once heard about a movie star who on a very long air flight refused all the meals. On occasion, however, she would become so hungry she would insist on something to eat, eat two bites, and refuse the rest. She was thin and she was beautiful, but I wonder if her almost-starvation diet was worth it in the long run. She struggles with anorexia. Another may not starve herself; in fact, she may often be gluttonous, but maintains her weight by throwing up after the meal. Sometimes her compulsion is repeated several times per day. She struggles with bulimia. It was forty-plus years ago in nursing school that I learned about eating disorders. As I recall, it was the first time I knew that eating disorders existed. Both were said to be psychiatric diseases and both, especially anorexia, were difficult to treat. What must have been rare back in the 1960's is now, for many, a common practice. The quest for beauty which likely began with Mother Eve has not gone away. It is still labeled a psychiatric disease and anyone struggling with an eating disorder knows what Marie Notcheva means about being in the "pit" and "in bondage." Redeemed from the Pit: Biblical Repentance and Restoration from the Bondage of Eating Disorders is a gift from God to those struggling and to those helping someone struggling with an eating disorder. This book maintains a high view of God and an accurate view of man. It is written in an engaging style and entwined within it is Notcheva's own personal struggle and how God granted her repentance and real freedom. As a biblical counselor to women, I am looking forward to using this book to help others. Read it prayerfully and thoughtfully. You, too, can, by God's grace, be truly redeemed from the pit! Martha Peace Biblical Counselor and Author of The Excellent Wife Price: $21.99 ISBN: 978-1-879737-78-5

Now....please everyone buy a copy, review it on your blogs, tell your friends about it and help me go on that Missions Trip back to Albania this summer. No pressure or anything. Thank You!!!!

"Redeemed from the Pit" About to Go Live....

This week, I received the cover of my book from the publisher:

The book will be "live" within the next couple weeks for purchase on Calvary Press' website: http://www.calvarypress.com/home.asp

Cultivating Intimacy With Christ - "Does God Really Love Me?"

"Faith hangs on to Christ in the dark, it holds to a silent Christ, it holds to a refusing Christ, it holds to a rebuking Christ, and it will not let him go. Faith is the great holdfast that hooks a soul on to the Saviour.

Faith is thus powerful because of its effects. Faith enlightens, enlivens and strengthens. It is written of some of old that "They looked unto him, and were lightened." Faith shed a light upon many things, and lets us see that even if Christ has a frown on his face, he has love in his heart. Faith looks right into the heart of Christ, and helps us to perceive that he cannot mean anything but mercy to a seeking soul."
-- Charles Spurgeon

Have you ever asked God if He really loves you, or pleaded with Him for His affection? The following is an open letter to those of you who doubt, amended from a personal note I just sent to someone who is struggling:

"Dear Fellow Sojourner,

Believe it or not, I do understand what you mean and the doubts you are having about God's dealings with you and questioning whether He really cares or even if He loves you. Although I have not personally experienced what you are, I DO know the feelings and am all too familiar with the doubts. I want to be careful here not to sound like “Job’s friends” – although honestly, your situation reminds me of Job! – because that does no one any good.

I deliberately will not quote you the verses or pull out catch-all platitudes about Christ dying for the world (and of course I do NOT mean to diminish the Atonement one bit; but that is what people generally remind you of when you doubt God’s love.) I know EXACTLY what you mean when you write about knowing Christ loves the world; but what about you personally? One verse I would point out to you, however, is Galatians 2:20: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me," (emphasis mine), wherein Paul was making the point He loved [Paul] and gave Himself up for [Paul]. Who, of course, was a murduring Pharisee and all that; but you get the idea.

And of course, there ARE Scriptural statements to the effect that God’s love is infinite, faithful and PERSONAL to the believer (you) – Matt. 10:31; Luke 12:7; Hebrews 13:5 (the “you” is singular in the original), as well as the Psalms, which cover every range of human emotion. However, you are obviously intelligent and don’t need the references or a Bible lesson. Just thought I’d remind you anyway, though, because His Word IS Truth.

Regarding God’s nature, I know you wonder if He really cares because of all the pain and suffering you see all around you. I need not “defend” Him or say He always keeps His promises (in the way we expect, at least – I admit I also struggle with the exact meaning of Matthew 6, especially vs. 31-32: "So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.") My guess is that is something like a Proverb – to be understood as a general rule, but NOT a guaranteed absolute. (I.E. “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” – it’s a general principle; not a guarantee. IF you do this – you may expect THAT.)

This promise doesn’t change the fact that there are millions of suffering, starving Christians whose daily bread is NOT provided….as a result of man’s sin. God knows/sees it; He COULD prevent it, but He does not. That’s where we get into the issue of His sovereignty, and we have to admit that we just don’t know. We DO know, if we believe the Scripture to be infallible, that A) He is good; and B)ultimately justice will be served and all wrongs will be righted. Beyond that, we can only speculate (and often that gets us in trouble when we do.) But we know that He is good, and does NOT enjoy torturing His slaves…even though it may feel that way sometimes. I’ve often wondered, for example, how miscarriages and stillbirth fits into His sovereign plan. Again, not that I’ve experienced that personally, but I’ve known many women who have and as a mom, I can only imagine the agony and grief.

What I keep coming back to as I turn this around in my mind (extreme suffering and God’s goodness)is this: we can’t say Jesus didn’t warn us. Count the cost; some of us will be persecuted; put to death. He offered NO promises about our comfort or emotional needs; He only said “in this life you will have many troubles; take heart; I have overcome the world.” We need to live with an eternal perspective, as hard as that can be sometimes. Jesus knew so well what it is to be rejected and despised (and still does…everything from people taking His Name in vain to Monty Python movies mocking Him, and worse). When you love someone, you make yourself vulnerable to them, and that is what God has done with us. We grieve Him when we are faithless - blowing off prayer time with Him; gossiping about one another; fighting with our spouses. Yet HE remains faithful.

This is what it means that He was “touched with our infirmaties” and “sympathetic to our weaknesses”. They’re not just words; He really understands (and cares.) Look at Paul (and the Apostles – close, intimate friends of Jesus during His earthy ministry). Paul got the stuffings beaten out of him on a regular basis; got run out of town more than once; was slandered and maligned (even by other “Christians”); was abandoned by friends; and was finally executed on trumped-up charges. He sure wasn’t getting his “emotional needs met” or his “love cup” filled! Jesus Himself was verbally tormented throughout most of His ministry, but He rested in the love of the Father (as did Paul).

Not preaching you a sermon, but just putting some thoughts out there. I’ve often thought of those first century Christians, and what a raw deal some of them got…like Perpetua, and the other martyrs under Nero and Dormitius (the ones who never actually had the pleasure of meeting and fellowshiping with Christ, yet they were still called to suffer and die for him.) Some of them lost everything – like Perpetua’s nursing infant; her marriage; her home and possessions. Even in recent history though, I think in some ways folks who’ve been called as martyrs or have been imprisoned in some ways find it easier to stand strong than some (like yourself, and many others who are just worn down by the day-to-day torment and disillusionment.)

I read Richard Wurmbrand’s “Tortured for Christ” a few years ago (founder of Voice of the Martyrs – he was in a Romanian prison for years) and I was gob-smacked. Honestly, I wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a Communist prison! But in his story and so many others like his, it’s just so “clear” to the ones suffering for their faith what they’re doing and why they’re there suffering (for Christ’s glory). Obviously, that has to be our goal and over-arching purpose, too, but it’s harder to “see” the purpose in what seems like needless, pointless suffering. And THAT is why it can become so much harder to believe that God really loves you personally. If you were in a Communist prison being beaten and starved because you were a Christian, you would no doubt have faith in His love (although technically your circumstances would be worse). That is why it is so important (even now) to continue to walk by faith and not sight, and to continue to put faith in what (intellectually) you know is true.

I truly believe that convincing people God doesn’t love them personally (or at least getting them to doubt it) is one of Satan’s biggest strategic weapons. How I wish sometimes that I could just see Jesus; have an audience with Him – even Skype Him – and all my doubts would be forever erased. But you know what He said to Thomas about those who have not seen being blessed…yet we have believed. Don’t stop seeking Him in the Scriptures, because God WILL use that to encourage you personally (often when you least expect it.) Have you ever been reading the Word, and something seems to “leap off the page”, and straight into your heart? His Spirit illuminates truth when and as we need it…personally.

The historical reality of the Cross should never leave us cold, but sometimes it does (if we are truthful). This is the dynamic of sin-stained human emotions. God gave them to us for a reason, and He designed us to feel deeply, yearn for Him, and want to be loved. He gave us that need to come to Him with that longing – even (and especially) when we don’t “feel” anything.

Be encouraged - He is still that friend who "sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). Don’t give up, please – and don’t abandon the Church, either. It’s especially important to be in fellowship and support during these “desert” times – a lone sheep, as you know, is more vulnerable prey.

In Him,

Marie